1998-2001‧信件

【 信件 】
 

一年前　曾經收過莫名其妙的一封信
收件人是我　沒錯
但寄件人不知是誰
初時覺得很奇怪
但時間的流走　會帶走記憶與感覺
最後　什麼都會變得模糊不清

kill me.
i won't blame you.
i am so sick and have no strength to fight.
life is a fight.
i don't want to live anymore.
i want to end this.
but i just lack courage.
please help me on this.
i won't blame you.

please.
help me.
there is no point for me to exist.
i am useless and full of flaws.
no need to keep me alive like this.
i really, i insisit, and i indeed,
want to end this.

please, end this, for me.

i don't wanna live.
there's no point for me to exist.
and there's no exit.
it's a dead end.
and there's no return.
life leads to death and this is the natural process.
no need to be afraid and no point to be guilty.
i just wanna die.
just wanna end this.

why i live?
why i live?

i am so useless that anyone should have aware.
kill me.
kill me.
kill me, please.
i've no courage to end my life.
so i rely on your hand to do this.
don't heistate.
you're doing absolutely great.
yes, point the gun at my head.
shot it.
please, shot it.
i wanna die this way.
this is the best way to solve it.
end it and let time erase it.
there will be no trace of my existance.
i am no one.
so, just shot it.

thank
you.

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寫於 98-01 之間

本想好好虛構一個完整的故事
嗯　那時候或許不太了解自己
一個連話也不喜多說的人
要寫出一個長篇故事
真有點不自量力

斷斷續續的寫了好幾篇
最後還是無了期的停了下來
一放下　便是七年

前些天整理檔案時
才驚覺時間的流走
是那麼的無聲無息

放上部落格中　聊作個記錄罷